Someone I Like ~ Poems, Sketches, and Thoughts

By | December 30, 2009

Someone I Like
Someone I like is far away,
I feel the silence everywhere.
I didn’t know how much I’d care.

Someone I like is far away,
I feel the silence in the air,
I feel it, feel it everywhere.

~ Charlotte Zolotow

People
Some people talk and talk
and never say a thing.
Some people look at you
and birds begin to sing.

Some people laugh and laugh
and yet you want to cry
Some people touch your heart
and music fills the sky.

~ Charlotte Zolotow

**************************

I try to be a positive person, but right now it’s hard. My life is in upheaval mode and I’m feeling blocked. Trainwrecked. While I have a lot of ideas of what I’d like to do, I can’t seem to muster up enough excitement to follow through on anything. I had a plan that suddenly shifted a great deal and now I have no idea where to go next. I’m not interested in committing to a long-term stay in any one place, yet I’m tired of constantly moving my things and being “unsettled.” My days are unplanned and I have absolutely no schedule that I follow. I don’t have a job, except for a couple of ongoing freelance projects that don’t necessarily take up much time.

I’ve considered trying to find a “real job,” but my travel plans for the next few months wouldn’t allow for me to do so; I’d be taking “too much time” off of work.

Traveling plans are as follows: Mid-January, I’m going to Las Vegas to attend a Personal Growth Workshop. The following weekend, I’m attending a girls’ weekend in Minnesota. After that, I plan to go to Montana to do a little snowboarding in the mountains. This could take up to a month, although any potential traveling companions have not yet committed. In March, I have three options that I’m considering: the Dominican Republic, Florida, or Joshua Tree National Park.

Yes, I need more money to finance all of this. Some will trickle in slowly from my brother, who bought my old purple car. Some will come from my freelance work, minimal as it is right now. The rest will come out of my savings until I come up with a new plan.

I can’t decide if I want to go back up to Alaska to work next summer or if I should make some long-term plans that commence now and run through the summer and beyond, involving running my freelance business, or if I should do something completely different….

This entry feels a bit jumbled and negative. Poor, poor, pitiful me. I don’t work and I can do whatever I want, and take as long as I want to do it. Life is so hard.

But I need direction and purpose, which I’m trying to find. It’s a hard journey for me. I’m asking for any suggestions, comments, or thoughts that you might have.

Next entry will focus on the positives, I promise!


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2 thoughts on “Someone I Like ~ Poems, Sketches, and Thoughts

  1. Jennifer Skoog Photography

    Ev, I'm hugging you, can you tell? 🙂

    Aww- I relate to these feelings so much more than you may know.
    Each day that goes by in the darkness of the tunnel, is one day closer to the light at the end.

    Been meaning to call you again. It's so important to be true to yourself as you are doing. It's so freeing to acknowledge and address "the negatives" because that is life. Plus, shared sorrow is half sorrow.

    Thank you for being there for me.

    I am here for you.
    Love ya! Jen

  2. Jan

    My advice is this– give yourself a little time and it'll all become clearer. Don't push yourself into making a decision quickly.

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